Ohh  yeah - blog time ? not enough hours as they say …

Mmmmmm, we are moving on with production, have done the first of the artist liaison meetings where we sit around the table and go through each act, their rider, travel details and start ticking boxes off and collecting up the information.

The big deal this week is of course the volcanic ash travel disruptions, it's all about the ferries this time round.

Expect to see lots of shiny tour buses winding their way around the lanes of Kildare this summer.  And private charters for all the glitzy set pieces coming our way and lots of rockin' rollers hanging round Dublin days in advance just because they want to be here!

We have the start of the schedule and have been chatting to the tour managers about arrival times and stages and rolling risers and truck parking and all the tech stuff.   Plus, we've been answering the questions about camping (yes some of the bands DO camp) and catering and looking through the riders, which is ok sometimes -   if someone interesting has written it…

So – just for fun here's a bit of  one of the more interesting riders I've ever received!

Dressing Room One for Iggy

You know what would be really nice? If you could make this room look less like a typical rock & roll dressing room and more sort of…. Interesting? Are you with me? Just let someone loose with a little bit of artistic flair… Er, do you know any homosexuals? And am I allowed to say that? Probably not. Please do not display any posters relating to the current show/festival, or posters of any past shows or festivals, inside this room. No festival running orders or show times and suchlike either. Just some nice art and things to look at in a meditative kind of way. And maybe something to smash! (Just a little joke., nobody’s going to smash anything. Not deliberately, anyway.)

Sensible chairs (what does that mean? you might be asking, and to tell you the truth, I’m not sure myself. I think it means we don’t want chairs that are prone to taking stupid risks, or making silly claims without thinking them through. So, you know, sensible chairs. Chairs with a grip on reality/ feet on the floor.)

Heating and/or air conditioning that works efficiently, and is suitable for the local climate and the time of year; in other words, if we were to arrive in, say, Alaska in the winter, and there was just an air conditioner, that would be a bad thing, but if there was a great big roaring open fire, with marshmallows toasting on it, that would be a good thing.

A clothes rail with hangers.

A carpet would be appreciated too. Preferably on the floor (with the chair on top)

This dressing room should contain:

- A folding, metal chair, such as this one for example (left)…..

It has to fold, so that Eric the road manager can trap his thumb in it every night. You will recognize Eric because he has these enormous thumbs. Very handy for hitch-hiking, and for approving things, such as the folding metal chair in the dressing room.

- A kettle or water heating device of some description.

- Some fresh ginger, honey, lemons, and a sharp knife. So we can make ginger, honey and lemon tea. God knows why.

- Some Chinese gunpowder tea. So we can attempt to blow up the dressing room.

That’s another joke by the way. Good thing this isn’t an airport…

- An English language newspaper like the New York Times or the Miami Herald. Or the Guardian (my personal favourite). Or a copy of USA Today that’s got a story about morbidly obese people in it. Most amusing!

- Somebody dressed as Bob Hope doing fantastic Bob Hope impersonations and telling all those hilarious Bob Hope jokes about golf and Hollywood and Bing Crosby. Oh God, I wish I’d been alive in those days, so that Bob Hope could have come and entertained me in some World War 2 hell-hole before I went off and got shot. What joy they must have experienced… OR

- Seven dwarves, dressed up as those dwarves out of that marvelous Walt Disney film about the woman who goes to sleep For a hundred years after biting a poisoned dwarf, or maybe after pricking her finger on a rather sharp apple… or something.

What was the name of that film? Oooh, it’s on the tip of my tongue.

Was it Cinderella? Doesn’t matter, we just want the dwarves. Taller people are acceptable, of course. It’s attitude, more than altitude, that’s important here. Don’t forget the pointy hats!

If neither of the above are available we will settle for a belly dancer. In fact, she can use my belly to dance on…

- A big bucket of ice, or a refrigerator, containing:

- 2 litres good quality still mineral water. I think it should originate in the country we are in. (I’ve just realised what that film was called. Goldilocks. Goldilocks and the something something. Temple of Doom. Goldilocks and the Temple of Doom! I knew I’d get it in the end.)

- 6 Small bottles of room temperature mineral water.

- 6 bottles of Pom brand pomegranate juice

- 10 16oz plastic cups

- 4 Nice wine glasses for Red Wine

- A corkscrew to open wine bottles

- 2 bottles of smooth, full-bodied, Bordeaux type red wine. Probably French.

And something we’ve heard of, but still can’t pronounce. Look, there’s fucking loads of good red wines. Ask the man in the wine shop. Or here’s a number of suggestions:

1st choice – a Medoc, St. Emilion, Pamerol, or Pauillac, years ‘86, ‘89, ‘90 (It wasn’t Goldilocks and the Temple of Doom, was it? How annoying. )

2nd choice – a Barolo or Barbaresco ‘89 or ‘90

- 4 large laundered towels.

- 24 large paper napkins

- 1 box of tissues

- 1 medium sized trash can, disguised as a potted plant.

See? Not all that bad, is it?

Wish they were all like that

See you in the field :)